Oh no! It’s almost Halloween and you don’t even have a costume yet! Life has been coming at you fast and you just haven’t had time to think about, let alone make, a whole costume for the spooky season, but you have to get drunk this weekend and time is of the essence. If you’re feeling stumped about what to wear this Halloween, I have a few ideas for you. They’re fun, they’re sexy, and they’re definitely scary.
1.Sexy Student Loan Debt
If you’re experiencing the crushing weight of student loan debt, you may be living at your parents’ house in your hometown, where all of your friends have already left you behind, leaving you with no plans for Halloween. If this is not the case, then I have to say congratulations because that was not my experience at all! Since you’re going to be out on the town this Halloween, but still do not have the luxury of calling a fun place in the city your own, you might as well just go as a sexier version of your crippling student loan debt so that you can let everyone know that you’re struggling but you’re going about it in a very hot, sexy way.
2. Sexy Crushed Hopes and Dreams
No matter who you are, you have some dreams that have been relentlessly crushed right before your eyes--that’s life, after all. Halloween is all about being what you’re not, so if you’re not successful, why not at least pretend to be for a night? Bitter reality can wait until tomorrow.
3. Sexy Something from Your Nightmares
Nightmares are subjective, and change from person to person so get creative with it! You could go as “sexy going to die alone with 20 cats eating the flesh off my dead face” or even just as “sexy 100 spiders on me at once.” For me, my worst nightmare would be this sexy Gumby costume--that green blob boy just is not right.
4. Sexy Shredded Cheese in a Bag
After a night out, a hard day at work, or just for a regular depression meal, shredded cheese in a bag has always been there to satisfy your needs. Halloween is going to be a big night for you, so maybe it’s time to show your late-night snack some appreciation all day and not just at 3:00 in the morning while you lay on your kitchen floor thinking about how your life is just passing you by, so wear your bag of shredded cheese proudly--and sexily--on your body. It could also be a great couple costume with a sexy taco.
5. Sexy Employee Who Hates Their Job
There are costumes for sexy dead secretaries, and a whole lot of other sexy professions like police officer and nun, but how many costumes are there for just the everyday office employee who hates their job? This costume is perfect for all occasions, but especially at a work-related event--it’s just you, but sexier.