Recently, I have had so many people ask me, “Renée you’re 24 still living with your parents, working a job that doesn’t pay a lot and commuting four hours a day to do it, paying off an extreme amount of student loan debt, have never had a romantic relationship in your entire life, and haven’t created any art of substance in years--just how are you able to have it all?” Well, of course, being a creative isn’t easy and being a successful one is even harder. With just a bit of hard work and a great attitude, anyone can live a life similar to mine! In fact, I want everyone to experience success the same way I have, which is why I have decided to share my daily routine because behind every successful person is a successful daily routine.
5:30am-- This is when my alarm goes off every morning. The sun is not up at this time and I truly feel like dying because I never get enough sleep the night before. Also, what person under the age of 50 willingly wakes up at 5:30 in the morning? I press snooze and go back to sleep.
5:31-6:12am-- I repeatedly press snooze every eight or so minutes. Before I can close my eyes again and really screw myself over for the morning, I begrudgingly get up to go take a shower.
6:13-6:39am-- This is shower time. Should someone with eczema take a hot shower every morning? Probably not but I feel like a trash rodent without it. Sometimes it takes me a long time to remove my body from the toilet to the shower after my morning pee because I’m so tired. At least I don’t pee in the shower. As the hot water hits my body, I do not want to leave but I must. If I take too long at this step then I will be screwed.
6:40-6:55am-- It’s now time to apply makeup. First I put on some moisturizer because without it my face will be as flaky as a croissant. Then I do a quick makeup routine of foundation, mascara, eyebrow stuff, and blush. Makeup is a scam but I still feel uncomfortable without it. I then go to my room, pick up an outfit off the floor that isn’t too wrinkly, pack up my giant purse, and head out.
6:55-7:10am-- I get driven to the train station by one of my parents because I don’t own a car and also don’t believe in buying one just to have it sit in a parking lot all day. My parents agree. As payment, I usually get to listen to my dad’s hot takes about what he saw on Fox and Friends this morning. I stare out the window and say, “Uh huh,” every once in a while to pretend I’m listening.
7:11-8:45am-- This is the time I spend on the commute. I spend an hour sitting on the train, staring out the window and listening to comedy podcasts. I then think to myself, “I would also really like to do a comedy podcast,” and I start thinking about the details. I could do something more productive, but I would much rather just sit and stare and do not much else. Sometimes the train breaks down and I am late. In theory, my train should arrive in the station at 8:11 but that never happens. After that, I walk a mile to my place of employment, the speed of my walking is only fast when my train is really late and I have to book it. Sometimes I get too lazy and take the bus instead.
8:45-10:30am-- I start working, and then I get hungry. If I remember to take one, I will eat my granola bar or some fruit I brought. More likely, though, I will go to the Starbucks on the first floor of my building and get an iced tea lemonade and a breakfast sandwich. There’s something about that fake egg and cheese that just really gets me.
10:30-12:15pm-- More work until lunchtime. This is theoretically where I go to the gym upstairs on my lunch break, but it’s more realistic for me to just go to Taco Bell across the street because I never remember to make a lunch for myself.
12:15-5:00pm-- This is the long stretch of the workday. Things really slow down around 2:00 and I more or less just keep drinking the free pop in the office fridge and go to the bathroom a lot. I say I’ll get some writing done in my downtime, but that rarely happens (except for right now, while I’m writing this). I may also pound down a whole bag of sour gummy bears that I bought at 7-Eleven.
5:00-6:45pm-- Now it’s the second half of the commute. I bust my ass trying to get back to the train station. If I’m even two minutes late I’m going to have a bad time finding a seat. I listen to more podcasts. I’ll usually take out my tablet to try and do some creative work, but I find that staring out the window while listening to people talk about politics is more interesting. There’s always when I get home, after all.
6:46-7:10pm-- This is when I finally get home. I’ll eat dinner with the family, and my least favorite TV personality, Tucker Carlson, usually plays in the background while we eat. I immediately get very tired and I can’t even find the energy to argue with my family. I retire to my room.
7:11-7:54pm-- I lay in my unmade bed, still in the clothes I wore to work that day, and play on my phone. I go on Twitter for a bit, maybe some Instagram and even Facebook if I’m feeling extra spicy. I usually stop doing this once I see someone announcing a major life achievement. I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but I do a lot of the time because it sometimes feels like my life has stood still ever since I graduated college. A podcast is playing this whole time because I have too many podcasts in my queue and I’m so behind. How did this happen to me? Why do I subscribe to so many damn podcasts?
7:55-8:07pm-- I stop listening to podcasts for a brief moment and instead listen to the pop punk song of the day at least three times on repeat.
8:08-8:09pm-- I share a meme with a friend I haven’t talked to in a while.
8:10-9:23pm-- Now it is time to get to work! I sit at my desk, ready for good art to be made! I’m still listening to podcasts. The podcasts are telling me to watch Pen15 on Hulu and I want to but I’m going to forget because I’m still stuck trying to catch up on podcasts. I try to write, but I give up and instead work on my giant cross stitch of Troy Bolton from High School Musical 2. I’ve stared at his face so long that it no longer looks like a face to me, but it’s too late to quit now.
9:24-9:26pm-- I look at my bank account. Then I look at my student loan balance. I sigh.
9:27-10:12pm-- This is when I should go to bed because I need to get up before the sun rises to get to work on time, but I’m not perfect. If I’m already doing something, I won’t quit until I’m so tired that I stop making any sense.
10:13-10:51pm-- Even when I’m too tired to move, as soon as I turn off the lights and get comfortable, my brain wakes the fuck up. This is when I look up cold cases, look through all the social media of someone I had a crush on at school, and also Google pathetic things like, “Will anyone ever love me?” I then remember that I almost forgot to take my birth control and get out of bed again--not like it matters because I barely know what it’s like to experience another person’s touch so there’s not really a change I’m going to get pregnant but whatever!
10:52pm-morning-- This is theoretically when I sleep. It’s never a full eight hours and by Friday, I’ve lost enough sleep that it’s hard to really know what’s going on. My parents tell me that this is what life is. I hope that there is something more.
As you can see, the key to success is really just maintaining a productive and healthy lifestyle! Get inspired and go do great things!